Guilt

As any divorcing/divorced parent knows, there is so much guilt that goes along with this whole process… we feel guilty that our marriage didn’t work… guilty for ending it and breaking up our children’s home, but then we also feel guilty for not ending it sooner to spare the kids the tension that was in the house. We feel guilty for having to work more, and guilty for having to deny them extras because the budget is now so much tighter. We feel guilty over being stretched thinner, and having less free time. We feel guilty for making them share holidays. We feel guilty for making our kids into Children of Divorce. So what do we do? We overcompensate for our guilt with too much TV, not enough discipline and too much pizza and ice cream. And then, we feel guilty about that, too.

The reasons and the process of getting divorced with kids are different for everyone… but the one common thread is that it’s very definitely a process… you don’t just go from being married and and living together to...well, not. There are baby steps forward, many more back and lots of mistakes along the way. For all the books that have been written about divorce, no one can tell you exactly what’s going to happen with YOUR divorce… how you, your former spouse and your kids will handle the changes. We’re still growing and learning and evolving each day, trying to figure out how to make this new life work.
And, ever so slowly, we’re getting there.