Making Breakfast with Harry

Raising a child with Sensory Processing Disorder is, well… a little different than raising a kid without SPD. Sensory Processing Disorder is a neurological disorder which affects the way the senses process information. Kids with SPD are typically either over-responsive or under-responsive to stimuli, and in some cases can be over- or under- responsive in varying situations. SPD can also cause motor issues, and difficulty in regulating movement, among other things.

In Harry’s case, while he sometimes becomes overwhelmed by visual and auditory stimulation (loud noises, big crowds, etc) mostly he is what is known in SPD circles as a “Sensory Seeker,” meaning he needs to seek out tactile stimulation in order to feel “right”. This takes the form of needing to climb, jump, run, stomp, touch things, get wet, etc. Harry requires BIG sensation. However, this “sensory seeking” presents certain challenges for the rest of us!

This morning, my kids wanted pancakes for breakfast. Harry followed me down to the kitchen. As I was getting out the pancake stuff, Harry was running laps in the kitchen, and then began to try to climb onto the kitchen table. “Whoa, Buddy… I don’t think so.” I said, as I scooped him off the table. “Look at Mommy’s face. Do we climb on tables?” He glanced around. “Look at my eyes, Harry. Look at my face. Is it safe to climb on the table?” He tried to look me in the eye. “Uuuummmm…. No?” “That’s right. We do not climb on tables.” I said, as I wrapped him up in what we call a “Squeezy hug” and started rubbing his back hard. The squeezing and pressure on his back give him the sensory input he often seeks, and is part of his therapy. When he seems calm, I ask if he’d like to help with the pancakes.

We wash his hands, and he pulls the stool up to the counter, and begins to pick up and touch all the stuff there… as I’m measuring ingredients, he’s picking up the baking powder, shaking the cinnamon bottle, playing with measuring spoons. “I wanna stir!” he says. I pass the bowl to him to stir, and I start putting away the things we are finished with. I am standing at the cabinet, putting away the spices when I look over to see him with an egg in his hand, saying “what if I toss this egg?” Before he finishes the sentence, the egg is a puddle on the counter. “Uh oh” he says. I’m feeling a little flustered at the mess and the wasted egg. I sigh, “Harry, why did you do that?” as I’m getting paper towels. “I dunno” he says. While I clean up the mess, explaining that eggs are delicate, and they should stay in the carton till we need them, Harry sticks his fingers into the batter. “it feels gooey!” “Harry… please don’t put your fingers in the batter” I let him play in the sink for a minute, under the guise of “washing his hands” until I realize his shirt is soaked. I take off the wet shirt, and I suggest he draw a picture until it’s time to eat. Back to the pancakes.

On the other side of the kitchen, the floor is strewn with paper, and I look over to see Harry drawing all over himself with a marker. “How about you draw on the paper, Buddy?” He is now lying on the floor, repeating the same line of dialogue from the movie Cars, over and over. Fortunately, by this time, the pancakes are pretty much ready, so I send him upstairs to get Annabelle and Theo.

SPD doesn’t go away. There is no cure… there is just therapy, to teach regulation and coping skills. Harry has come a long way already since we started therapy. We are working with his OT on his spectrum-type behaviors, as well (SPD often comes with Autism Spectrum Disorders, and further diagnosis on that is pending) The biggest challenge of all is helping others to understand Harry and his unique challenges. Harry looks “normal” and so when he exhibits behaviors that one does not expect in an almost five-year-old, those who don’t know him think he’s undisciplined or “out of control.” This is a common problem among parents of children with “invisible” disabilities. We’re not “bad parents” we’re parents who are required to have a little extra teaching, love and patience in our job description.