19

Being in the midst of major life changes has me thinking a lot lately… thinking about how when you're going through a bad time, sometimes you feel like things are never going to get better…but then somehow, someway, you slog your way through all the mud, and everything ends up fine. I was thinking about various rough patches I've experienced, and one year in particular came to mind, one of the more depressing years of my life… 19. Just before I turned 19, I was living in Florida, had a fun job, a cool apartment, lots of parties, and was experiencing the wonder of a dizzy, heady, whirlwind romance with a boy I was head-over-heels in love with. Overnight, I ended up 180 degrees from where I was… I was back in Massachusetts living in my mother’s totally dysfunctional house, (in CHICOPEE fer god’s sake…the armpit of Western Massachusetts) couldn’t find a decent job, had very few friends… and the salt in all of these wounds… the boy who had my heart wrapped around his finger found someone prettier and stopped calling, AND I failed my drivers test! Oh... and the exact same day I failed the driving test? My hamster died. True Story. I was seriously depressed! But after wallowing in self-pity for a couple of months, I sucked it up and made some changes…I got a job, I made friends, I went to school, I started auditioning and performing again, I finally passed the damn driver’s test and got a car, and then FINALLY I got my own apartment. So... I survived 19, and made it to 20 in a much better place. My point is that that life is full of ups and downs and some very dark tunnels. But getting through those tunnels and finding the light at the other end makes us stronger, and makes us appreciate the good times all the more. And most often, the place you end up is even better than the place you were in the first place.